Zombies and Red Hill

Why did I move from the relative safety of a small town to the slithering-est patch of land we could find? Zombies. That’s right. Zombies.

We all know it’s going to happen sooner or later. Right? … Anybody?

Worrie? They’ll be safe for sure.

While I’m not one of those doomsday preppers, I would like to be ready for anything. Self-sufficiency is the goal.

When the end of normal, rational civilization ends, I plan to be ready. It could be a governmental smack-down for whatever reason (I’m not political, so whatever), a foreign invasion, or good ol’ flesh-eating, walking corpses.

Attention neighbors (yes, we have relatively close neighbors in the country): I will shoot you in the noggin if you try to eat us. I’m a darn good shot with a hand-gun and rifle. The compound bow is waiting in the garage for me to be Katniss. I’ve got a crossbow like Chewbacca or Daryl Dixon (with his overly-styled hair for a redneck). And my son has an awesome sling-shot. We WILL be creative with projectiles. WE are NOT on the menu!

As for feeding my family, I have a hen-house full of egg-laying sweetie pies. I would hate to have to eat any of my girls. But sometimes you’ve gotta do what you’ve gotta do. I can just imagine my conversation with a non-producing chicken. “Come on, Buffy. Try a little harder…PUSH! … Or I’ll be forced to cook you.” (She’s a Buff Worthington and very brave. So I named her after Buffy the Vampire Slayer.)

My garden is full of very tall things. Some of them are even producing vegetables. (How did people eat every day before grocery stores?!)

We planted 5 fruit trees. One is still alive and another is alive-ish.

We live close to a creek and river full of catfish and gar. (If we catch another gar, I’m going to COOK IT! If it’s nasty, I’ll blog about it. I’m sure the story will be ridiculous, so it’ll be here anyhow.)

My first catch of the season. And it was delicious!

Once we get the pipe fence built, we’ll have a few head of cattle. (Wait a minute. If there are only four of us, what are we going to do with an entire cow and no freezer? Okay. Bad idea. We’ll just have the cattle for non-apocalyptical meals.)

And if all else fails, I’ll eat the friggin’ copperhead snakes that keep hiding in my chicken house!

My latest trespasser.

I know I’m not the only one to fantasize about what to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse. For instance, I know Jamie McGuire does the same thing. She even wrote a book about it. Her zombie book, Red Hill, is scheduled to be released in October. The cover reveal is today! I totally recommend it. (Yeah, I scored an advanced copy! YEEHAW!)

Seriously, when this book comes out, y’all better go get it. During the Walking Dead’s vacation, I NEEDED my zombie fix! I was engrossed in Red Hill, stumbling around like the undead with my nose in the book. (“Mom, what’s for dinner?” “Uuuuurrrrhhhhhmmmmmm.” <— That’s my distracted, sounds-like-a-zombie reply.)

My Kindle got steamed while I cooked, toted in my purse wherever I went, and sunburned while I was outside. The story’s totally realistic…you know, besides the zombie part. The main character did a lot of things that I would do. Of course, I would be a total bad ass tough momma like Scarlet in Red Hill.

In conclusion, I may be a little paranoid, but who’s gonna survive longer? Hmm? Blame it on my overactive imagination. That’s why I’m a writer, after all. I recommend that you be ready for anything, too, and READ RED HILL!